Abide with me – a novel not the hymn

Abide with me, by Elizabeth Strout, the story of a young congregational minister stunned by and struggling with the death of wife and life as a single father, is beautiful, compassionate and thoughtful. Set in 1950's New England we meet Tyler Easkey a man whose beautiful wife has just died.  Much loved by his parishioners he appears to be a model of a successful young pastor.  But all is not as it seems.  Beneath the veneer of a happy marriage we realise his wife might not have liked life as a poor clergy wife as much as it first appears.  His young daughter's grief expresses itself in behaviour her teachers and the parishioners find hard to understand or sympathise with.  Soon they start to gossip.  Tyler fails to see what is staring him in the face, turning to Dietrich Bonheoffer instead of attending to the various tensions between his daughter and her teacher, his housekeeper, his parishioners and within himself.  

Strout has a real gift for portraying the lives of Easy and his flock with kindness.  She points out the dangers of gossip and portrays the hypocrisy of some many well.  But she has no villains and is always understanding of her characters and the complex lives they lead.  Ultimately this is a story of redemption, hard one, with no short cuts.  But a it is kindly, beautiful account of how in the midst of sadness and despair redemption comes, not just for an individual but also for a community.

This book provokes thoughtful reflection about ministry practice, the need for self-care, and goodness and importance of people who will journey with us into our darkest places.